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Diesel Machine: Torture test

22/11/07  ||  Daemonomania

You could say that this album sucks. And you’d probably be right. Let me describe it for you – the singer does gruff semi-death vocals, think Covan of Decapitated without the hallucinogens. The lyrics follow tough guy clichés about ass kicking, hunting motherfuckers down, the end of the line approaching, the death penalty being awesome. One mid-paced chug riff follows another mid-paced chug riff, and so on from the guitarist of Halford, and more recently, Damageplan. The drummer, for the most part, is taking it easy and thinking about how much he loves Fear Factory. Lo and behold, you have “Torture Test.” Despite all these grim indicators present, I can’t hate this CD. Is it because I’m American, and therefore have a disposition towards enjoying shit metal? I don’t know. I can’t say. All I can do is review, and try to confront my feelings for Diesel Machine.

So let’s start with the good, shall we? The production is pretty damn flawless, some might say sterile. Then again, those people themselves might be sterile. They might be shooting a blank into their ladyfriend right now, cursing cruel fate for their lack of fertility. The vocals are actually pretty good, maybe even better than Covan, actually. Guy does have a mean voice on him, but not really death metal. There’s a lot of Meshuggah/Fear Factory moments here, and considering this was released a couple of years ago that might have been cool. They have some good sound effects sprinkled throughout. One song even starts with bells. Wow, a metal song with bells. Innovation, Diesel Machine is thy name. And another good thing – they seem to have broken up years ago, as far as I can tell.

I guess I kind of mixed the good with the bad, didn’t I? What more to say, other than just about every track is mid-paced to slow. These guys probably listened to “Five Minutes Alone” about a billion times apiece, then smoked some weed, then listened to “Shock” the same number of times consecutively. So picture Pantera having passionate intercourse with Fear Factory. Never mind, don’t picture that.

But despite all the dumb lyrics, tough guy posturing, repetition, chugging, and general semi-metal going on here, for some reason I just can’t say it gives me a rash. Why? Because I’ve had it a long time, perhaps, and it seems to be part of my metal development? Because the U.S. of A. churns out and buys up bands like this every thirty seconds, and I’ve been conditioned to be entertained by them? Because I’m a goddamn retard? Who the fuck knows. But when I pop a track or two from “Torture Test” on, usually once a year, I’m filled with the desire to jump da fuck up. I’m so sorry. Oh great gods of Scandinavian death metal, purge me from this earth in a ball of unholy flame!

5 embarrassing cd’s in YOUR collection, shithead! out of 10.

  • Information
  • Released: 2000
  • Label: Steamhammer
  • Website: www.dieselmachine.net
  • Band
  • AJ Cavalier: vocals
  • Patrick Lachman: guitars, backing vocals
  • Rich Gonzalez: bass
  • Shane Gaalaas: drums, having a’s in his name
  • Tracklist
  • 01. Torture Test
  • 02. Bones And All
  • 03. Dissection
  • 04. The Punishment
  • 05. Borrowed Time
  • 06. Rage
  • 07. Sick
  • 08. Driven By Pain
  • 09. Black Box
  • 10. State Of Panic
  • 11. Self-Destruct
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